I picked out my outfit and I planed for every move and every word- the topics that I want to talk about and the actions/ reactions that would happen.

In the back of my mind I always knew that something will eventually go wrong; a car accident, I get abducted by aliens, he goes in a sudden business trip...etc any thing. I always asked my self: why do I think badly about it- why can't I just be happy about it? Well - I think I'm used to disappointments.

On the pre-agreed on day and time, we met in the location and I was praying all the time that everything will work according to the original plan. We walked together towards the gates and lucky us- we were the first in line for the tickets- or that how it was at the moment. He approached the tickets window and the ticket man asked him: "which level are you at" "professional and beginner" he replied. "You are professional and she is beginner?" the tickets man asked and the reply was "I am professional and she never skied before" This is when the tickets man said: "no sir, sorry- she can't go in unless she takes a couple of lessons first". My eyes were widely open and I was shocked because we came this far and this can't be the stumbling block! But it was. I turned red- and I looked disappointed but I tried my best to cover my face features. I started to think fast of an alternative but my mind was jammed. He told me that I can take lessons and he will be with me in them- so I smiled and I nodded my head just to make things look fine. They weren't though! So he asked me if I would like to have a cup of coffee and my answer came faster than I thought- "Yes". Well- with him, anything is better than nothing at all. We went to a café and we talked for about 45 minutes. Some nice topics were discussed and I liked it. But yet- why do I feel bitter and disappointed? I don't think I felt this bad even when I failed a course in the university!!

Ah- what else can I do to make this work? I'm out of tricks and I'm so tired. I feel I'm cursed and I would like to find a way out of this loop.

May God help us all and show us the right way.